The Vitality Conversations
Private podcast for members of The Vitality Clinic
The Vitality Conversations
Special Topic - Make the next best decision: The Mindful Body
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If you’ve ever thought “nothing works for my body anymore”, this one is designed to interrupt that story. We dig into a deceptively simple idea that changes how you approach perimenopause, chronic illness, and stubborn symptoms: chronic does not mean constant. Your hormones, sleep, mood, digestion, blood glucose, and stress response are moving all the time, and the moment you start noticing that variability, you get something priceless, proof that change is already possible.
We draw on Dr Ellen Langer’s work (including her book The Mindful Body) to show how mindfulness and attention influence health in real-world ways. Instead of becoming a judge who declares failure after a rough day, we practise being a detective who collects clues: what happened before the rare good night’s sleep, why energy lifts mid-morning, when anxiety softens after exercise, and how bloating can depend on the state you eat in, not just the food. Those “good days” stop being flukes and become usable data.
We also tackle stress from a different angle: events don’t automatically create stress, our interpretation does. You’ll hear practical reframes like “tragedy or inconvenience?” and “what could be good about this?” and then the most actionable takeaway of all, you don’t need the perfect decision, only the next best decision. If this helps, share it with a friend, subscribe for more, and leave a review with one pattern you’re going to start noticing next.
Your Body Is Always Changing
Dr Kirstey HollandSpecial topic. Your body is changing all of the time. Start noticing it. Make the next best decision. The mindful body thinking our way to chronic health by Dr. Ellen Langer. One of the biggest obstacles I see in the clinic isn't a lack of knowledge. Women know vegetables are good for them. They know sleep matters. They know stress affects their hormones. They know movement helps. Knowledge is rarely the problem. The problem is that many women quietly stop believing their body can change. Once that belief takes hold, every symptom becomes evidence that nothing is working. Every difficult day becomes proof they're getting worse. Every setback can feel permanent.
Chronic Does Not Mean Constant
Dr Kirstey HollandDr. Ellen Langer has spent more than 50 years studying something remarkable. She asks a simple question. What if our experience of health changes depending on what we notice? Not what we imagine, not what we hope, what we genuinely notice. That idea has enormous implications for women navigating perimenopause. One of the biggest myths about chronic illness, a woman is diagnosed with Hashimoto's or endometriosis or IBS or fibromyalgia or migraine or osteoarthritis, or she simply hears urine perimenopause. Almost immediately, many people translate that diagnosis into something much bigger. This is just who I am now. That isn't what the diagnosis says. It simply means medicine doesn't currently have a permanent cure. It does not mean your body has stopped changing. Those are two very different things. Chronic doesn't mean constant. This is one of Ellen Langer's most powerful observations. Nothing in nature stays exactly the same. The stock market doesn't rise in a perfectly straight line. The weather changes all of the time. The tide changes, your heart rate changes, your blood pressure changes, your blood glucose changes, your hormones change almost daily if you're a woman. Your mood changes, your symptoms change, everything is moving. Everything. Yet when women describe their health, they often freeze it into a permanent story. I am always exhausted. I never sleep. I'm constantly anxious. My gut is always bloated. But is that actually true? Or has your brain stopped noticing the variability? Symptoms definitely matter. Variability can matter even more. One of the principles we use throughout the Holland Clinic is symptoms matter, patterns matter more. Today I'd like to add something. Patterns matter, variability matters even more. Because if your symptoms vary, your body is demonstrating something extraordinary. It is showing you that change is already possible. Become a detective. Most women become judges. I failed again. I ruined everything. I'm back where I started. A detective asks different questions. That's interesting. What changed today? Why was today different? What happened before I slept so well last night? Why was my anxiety lower yesterday? Why wasn't I bloated after that meal? Curiosity tends to uncover patterns. Judgment shuts the investigation down.
Become A Detective About Symptoms
Dr Kirstey HollandFour woman inside the Vitality Clinic Sarah. Sarah wakes at three AM almost every night. One morning she sleeps until six thirty. Instead of dismissing it as luck, she becomes curious. What happened yesterday? She walked after dinner. She laughed with friends. She finished eating earlier. She had protein at breakfast. None of those things prove anything, but together they can become clues. Emma. Emma tells herself I'm always exhausted. We ask her to track her energy three times each day. She discovers something really surprising. It surprises Emma too. Between 10 AM and midday, she actually feels really good. She's simply never noticed. Now we have somewhere to start and something to build on. Nicole. Nicole says her anxiety never stops. After a week of paying attention, she realizes it softens after she exercises. Not completely, not every time, but enough to notice. That is such valuable information. Rachel. She isn't bloated after every meal. She feels worse after rushing, better when she eats sitting down slowly. The food mattered, but so did the state that she ate it in. Good days aren't accidents. One of the saddest things I hear in the clinic is this. I felt amazing for three days, then everything came back. Most women see those three days as a failure. I see them as evidence. Your body just demonstrated it knows how to feel better. That changes everything. Now the question becomes, what happened during those three days? What did you eat? How did you sleep? Who were you with? Were you outside? Did you exercise? Did you feel safe? Were you less rushed? Those aren't random questions. They are data collection. Your good days become clinical information.
Stress Comes From Interpretation
Dr Kirstey HollandStress isn't just about what happens, it's about what we believe is happening. Dr. Langer makes another important distinction. Events don't automatically create stress. Our interpretation of events creates stress. Imagine two women wake at 3 a.m. One woman thinks, here we go again, my hormones are hopeless, I'm broken, she's pissed, her body braces, stress rises, sleep becomes even harder. Woman too thinks, hmm, interesting, I'm awake. I wonder what my body needs. Same event, completely different physiological response. One interpretation creates a threat and increases your stress response. The other could potentially calm you down and create curiosity. Is it a tragedy? Is it a tragedy or an inconvenience? The next time something goes wrong, ask yourself, is this actually a tragedy? Or is this an inconvenience? Most of the things that activate our stress response aren't life-threatening. Sure, they're frustrating, they're disappointing, they're inconvenient. That simple question creates space, and sometimes space is enough for your nervous system to settle.
Finding The Hidden Advantage
Dr Kirstey HollandFind the hidden advantage. This is one of Ellen Langer's most challenging ideas. When something doesn't go to plan, ask yourself, what could be good about this? Not because we're pretending everything is wonderful, because life is really one-sided. Holding the paradox is really important. Your appointment gets cancelled. Perhaps you've been given an unexpected hour to take a beautiful walk around the park. Dinner burns. Perhaps everyone laughs at your welcome to being human moment. You laugh together and everyone orders takeaway. You miss a meeting. Perhaps you finally slow down for 10 minutes. You're not denying the disappointment. You're widening the picture and the aperture and your lens.
Make The Next Best Decision
Dr Kirstey HollandThe next best decision, and I'm not gonna lie, this is my favorite. I absolutely love this. So when people are trying to make a decision, you know, sometimes we just need to make the decision. And Alan Langer talks about the fact that we need to make that decision the best decision, because it was the best decision at that moment in time with all of the information that you had. And then all you need to do is make the next best decision. So this is the lesson that I want every woman in the Vitality Clinic to remember. You don't need to make the perfect decision. You only need to make the next best decision. You ate the cake. The next best decision might be drinking a glass of water. You missed your walk. The next best decision might be walking for five minutes. You slept badly. The next best decision might be eating a protein-rich breakfast to get you through the day. You argued with your partner. The next best decision might be taking three slow breaths before responding. Transformation is rarely built on one extraordinary decision. It is built on hundreds of ordinary ones, one after another. Your prescription. This week, I don't want you to chase perfection. I just want you to notice. Notice when you feel a little better. Notice when you feel a little calmer. Notice when your symptoms soften. Notice when your body surprises you. Collect evidence that your body is capable of change. Then ask yourself one simple question: What's the next best decision? Because your future health isn't determined by one perfect day. It's shaped by thousands of thoughtful decisions made one moment at a time.
Prescription And Book Recommendation
Dr Kirstey HollandSo, my book recommendation, The Mindful Body, Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health by Dr. Ellen Langer is a remarkable exploration of how mindfulness, attention, and the way we interpret our experiences influences our health. I believe its central message is invaluable. Our bodies are changing all the time, and learning to notice that variability can transform the way we experience chronic symptoms. It's a book that encourages curiosity instead of certainty, observation instead of judgment, and hope instead of resignation. I highly recommend it as part of your Vitality Clinic journey. Take it easy and have a beautiful day.
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